The Journey We All Must Make
Thanks for sharing your journey, Sean. But it is not just your journey. Everyone will need to come to that place of pushing everything away, in disgust, despair, with so many scabs on the knees from kneeling. Neti, neti. Not this, not this.
Shankaracharya's three-fold path gave me a lot of insight along the way.
The first stage is that there is the realization that nothing out there is real. All is an illusion. Nothing will bring happiness. This is closing one's eyes on the world.
The second stage is discovering Brahmin, the Divine within. That happiness can only be found inside. Here is the path of meditation.
And finally, one opens one’s eyes and Brahmin is everywhere. All is Divine.
I had pushed away my old world on my journey, changing my name, hanging out with only the "enlightened ones." Having children brought me back into the world where I am now comfortable with all these whacked human beings, and I right in the middle of them, with my humanness embraced.
It’s all good. Cheers.